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A Bash-first, Linux-native AI incident response playbook for the critical first 15 minutes: prepare baselines and audit rules for models/configs; detect anomalies via auditd, journald, lsof/ss and GPU CLIs; rapidly contain with nftables and podman; collect forensics and verify hashes; restore from pinned artifacts; plus a one-command triage script and drills covering prompt-injection, poisoned models, and GPU cryptomining.